Things That Go Buzz Between Yer Legs: My Personal Review Of The Ladygasm Cici

I rarely, if ever, agree to do product reviews here on my big girl blog.

I just don't.

I have been asked to review some weird shit. Some normal shit. And so much shit I just don't care about. I don't care that it's free and I get to keep it. I really do have better things to do than eat, smell, wash, wear, listen to, or play your product. Yes, I'm that asshole.

Unless it's a vibrator.

Send that one. I'll take it. I'll review it right after my post about zuchini, because squash and fake penii are related, dontcha know. 

DUH.

That's how I ended up receiving a little velvet box (bwahaha) from the cool peeps at Ladygasm that contained a tiny treasure for my Lady Garden. 

It takes 2 AAA batteries in the screw-off base, which I provided. Cuz I am a Girl Scout, like that. (Really, I was a Campfire Girl, but whatever, I had the batteries.) And then I gave the new toy a good scrub down because for some reason it smelled like a swimming pool. Which is lovely if you want to swim in your Lady Garden, but I like to keep my swimming and buzzing separate. Call me old-fashioned.
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After taking it for a test drive, here's what I can tell you about the Ladygasm Cici (they call her the most affordable luxury vibrator, folks, like a Lexus for your twat—okay maybe I came up with that last part of the tagline):

  • It has two buttons on the handle area, one for power, and one to control the multiple vibration modes, which I determined to be a variety of pulsing and vibrating of either the g-spot stimulator and/or the little clitoral stimulator—allowing you to have the vibrator operate as a g-spot only, clitoral stimulator only, or dual g-spot/clitoral stimulating vibrator. 
  • The clitoral stimulator has nubs that reminded me of a toothbrush. More scrubby than rubby, if that makes sense. They aren't stiff, but they aren't rounded, either. Very Vagina Dentata, IYKWIM.
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  • The power was okay, but not super strong. If you're looking to rearrange the furniture, this isn't the vibrator for you. On the other hand, if you want something quiet that will get the job done, then the Ladygasm Cici might be your new best friend.
  • It didn't come with any instructions, which is fine, I mean it's not a super complicated product, but something telling you how many settings it has or even the product name would have been cool. Also, a free set of batteries would have been a nice touch. Thankfully, I had a big batch of new ones on hand.
  • I did like the fact that the two parts had their own independent motors vibrating separately, although more speed variability would be nice. What can I say, I like my sports cars and my vibrators to have manual transmissions with a lot of gears.
  • It's latex-free and hypoallergenic. The top half, you know, the fake penis part, is made of medical-grade silicone. Not to be confused with silicon. Totally different stuff, folks.
  • At just $25, it's a pretty reasonably priced vibrator. I know I've spent far more for less satisfying experiences. 
  • It was also easy to clean and the little "legs" on the base makeit easy to stand up to let it dry.
  • I wasn't able to find info on whether or not it's waterproof, which is something I like to know, generally as even if you don't plan on doing any underwater sports with your toys, sex can be a "moist" adventure, so my preference is for toys to be waterproof.
  • Having used it a couple of times now, and washed it the same number of times, it still smells like a swimming pool. Ew. I can't figure it out. Something about the plastic. Super weird.
  • I do like that it's bendy. Not floppy, mind you. It doesn't need to pop a blue pill or anything. It's just got a nice flex to it. And since we aren't all shaped the same, this is a nice touch.
Now, the fine print: the folks at Ladygasm were nice enough to offer the readers here a 20% discount off their normal website prices. Just enter CALIFMOM and shop away.  


 

Separating The Men From The Women: Home Waxing

waxtastic

My fingers are coated in wax. So is my man's lower back. Well, it was, until he whined like a chihuahua with its rhinestone collar stuck in the stroller wheel. Then I ripped the wax off and put some special cooling gel on his back.

Two sections.

Two.

That's what I got to do on him to even the score for him attempting to wax my vajay.

I look like a dog with mange. He has a smoothly waxed patch on his lower back.

He's snoring.

I finished my own ass waxing while he sleeps.

Boys are pussies.

Actually, given tonight's events, I'd have to retract that and say that boys are boys.

Pussies are some diesel shit.

Home waxing: doing Saturday date-night like a rock star!

You know you're jealous.

I'm seriously tempted to wax him while he sleeps, but he was such a good sport. I think he teared up while he was waxing me.