Reasons And Excuses

I walked uphill to school, well the bus stop. Both ways. In the snow. Didn't we all?

And I want better for my kids. Don't we all?

And I want to make sure to impart the lessons I learned that were worth learning, and the ones my late husband learned that were worth learning. Because that's what I view as my job. It's what we, as parents, decided was IMPORTANT. And I want to honor that.

So, when my child tells me, "the reason I didn't do X" or the "reason I haven't Y," I need to step in as the only parent left on the scene. Because that's how this works.

And in my world, a reason is an excuse.

And excuses are a reason for not doing what you need to do, what you have committed to do, or what you are obligated to do.

When you preface a statement with, "The reason I didn't," what I hear is, "My excuse for not doing," and that doesn't fly with me. It doesn't fly in the world. It won't fly when you are a grown-ass man or woman, and you need to fix that shit pronto.

Apologies are excellent. Make them when you fuck up. Own your mistakes, and then fix them. But do not make excuses for yourself. Be responsible for your actions. Always. 

Did you forget your homework?

That sucks. I guess you'll experience the consequences.

Did you get in a car accident?

Accidents happen.

Fix it.

Do you have trouble completing your assignments on time due to a disability? 

Get that accommodated. And do your work. You are still expected to complete your work.

It is your responsibility to get your shit in order. It is your job to make sure you get your needs met. Your job. Nobody else's. Your happiness comes from you. It always will.

And if you need help, it is your job to ask for it.

Do I know that it can be hard to ask for help? FUCK YES!

But sitting around with your thumb up your ass making EXCUSES? 

That's cute, but it's still an excuse!

Own your shit. Make it work. 

To review:

  1. Own your shit.
  2. Don't make excuses.
  3. You are responsible for your success and happiness.
  4. Ask for help when you need it, but ultimately the responsibility for your life is yours.
  5. Natural consequences are part of life not some evil plot to destroy you.
  6. Deal with it.
  7. I love you.