Before And After Photos

When I look through my pictures, I define them all in my head as before and after photos.

Before Bob died.

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And after.

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I wonder, like one wonders if she looks different after losing her virginity, if I look different to other people after Bob's death. Can they tell I'm a widow? Does it show in my face?


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The pictures of the kids, of the house, our pets, everything in our lives—they are all defined as before and after.

There is not a single photo that I see that I do not know where it falls on that continuum. I might not know the year, month, or place, but I do know where that one defining event lands in relationship to that picture. Always.