We all have our reasons for not getting things done on time. In this case I'm playing the "widow card," but not for the reasons you might think. Yes, I loathe paperwork. Hate paper, actually. I own a duplex scanner just to get rid of the stuff, but I can deal with it. I do it all the time. I fax paper, I scan paper, and I email the results of those scans all the time. Not a big deal. I'm even skilled at filling out the handy packet my CPA sends me.
But, this year, there was a roadblock I knew I'd have to face. You see, as the papers came flooding in during 2010, post Bob's death, I filed many of them into a handy little filing basket that was set up on my kitchen island. Sounds like a great idea, right? In theory, it was. In practice, not so much.
That basket also contained all of the sympathy cards the kids and I received after Bob passed. It contained the booklet of proofs from our family photo session shot at Bob's request when he found out his cancer was back. It contained the Caring Bridge book I had printed up in hard copy for our family. It contained the calendar we used to track Bob's chemo during his first round with lymphoma.
It held this card from his Oncology nurses and doctor. Each wrote a personal message. They took the time to let me know how much Bob's positive attitude would be missed, how brave and upbeat he was, how he never complained even "during the toughest times."
It held a stack of cards from Internet friends, those "imaginary people" who meant and mean so much to my family, a stack at least as thick as its counterpart.
And, in the middle of it all, sat me, crying, and my boyfriend, holding me, and tax papers, memories, and a past and a future, all mingling with my procrastination and a looming deadline. Thankfully, my CPA is used to working with ranchers who bring him receipts covered in chicken shit. Mine will just be covered in snot.