I swear I write this post OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Still, it doesn't sink in for everybody who reads my blog, or new people start to read it, or fuck if I know, so here it goes ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME FOR THE PEANUT GALLERY.
A blog post offers a SNAPSHOT (that means a quick and sudden moment, not a rolling camera following my ass around 24/7) IN TIME. Each post only gives you, the reader, a glimpse into what I choose to show you. Nothing more.
I leave a lot out. Why? SO. MANY. REASONS.
Some things are none of your business. Sometimes I forget to come back and finish a train of thought, or I just move on from a topic and no longer care to discuss it. Some subjects aren't mine to include on this blog. Some people in my life aren't to be discussed here for a plethora o' reasons. Boundaries of myriad reasons exist. I know, me, boundaries. Hard to believe.
So, when things I have discussed on my blog get used IRL (in real life) as if they contain the entire story, without anybody discussing the rest of the details with me, or getting to know me further, or taking into account there might be more to know, I find that ludicrous.
Seriously? If you were writing snippets from your life for the entire internet to read, would you include all of the details? Would you write everything literally? Maybe you would. Maybe that's the kind of writer you are. Maybe you should write your own blog. I prefer writing my own.
I guess I should take it as a compliment that I give the impression that I'm sharing my life with y'all, making you feel like you're part of my entire world, and that we can all hang out and have coffee together (and I would so do that with many of you, and have with a good number of you), but that is just a little WEIRD on some level from my side of the keyboard, I guess.
Have I ruined the illusion? I know many bloggers have this problem. When you share BIG STUFF about yourself people either feel very comfortable with you, which is good, or they use it against you, which is creepy. When we share, we're usually hoping to find a place where we can help other people feel like they're not alone. I know that's been my goal. It's what's kept me blogging through some difficult times like my husband's death, my hysterectomy and the depression that followed, and my son's special needs. Maybe I should have written more about my Morton's toe or exceedingly long inseam and inability to locate snazzy pants in my size.
The support of others in a community is essential when dealing with things like a special needs child, grief, or depression. The traffic my blog gets from people looking for information about Tourette Syndrome is overwhelming. The Internet is the place I turned when my own child was first diagnosed, and I'm happy to be a resource for other parents and adults just beginning that journey. To forego writing about difficult subjects because of fear of discrimination is something I'm not willing to do.
I didn't give in to the pressure of a school that tried to discriminate against my child. That case went to the DOJ. I didn't give in to stalkers when my husband died. I faced them head on. I didn't give in to depression. I didn't give in to my son's special needs. I didn't give in to the death of my spouse. I held my head high; I faced my life; I got the help I needed; I got my children what they needed, and we survived as a family. It might not look like what you would do, but it's what works for us, and that's what matters. Pick out a drum and march to it.
Now, I just need to remember to queue this post to show up again in three months so I can stop banging my head against that brick wall. The imprint from the bricks is leaving a strange mark and my eyebrows look funny.