Unless asked, don't tell your significant other what to wear. This person is, presumably, an adult. Get over your issues (yes, they're YOUR issues) with image.
Life is too short to worry about how the dishwasher is loaded. If somebody has been kind enough to load the dishwasher, say thank you.
Giving other people ultimatums rarely ends well. Same thing goes for pointing out a laundry-list of their faults. Ultimately, the only person you can fix/control/change is you. Start there and magical things will happen. The other person might still be the same, but you'll probably be a lot happier. Check the mirror, fix yourself, and move on. So. Much. Easier.
That's all the wisdom I've got for today, kids. Need to go conquer some Operation Eleanor fears and help my man build a bed.