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For the past few years, beginning with our battle involving the Department of Justice to defend my son’s civil rights as a disabled individual, our family, which normally lives with our amp set between 3 and 6, has been living with its amp on 11.
Since that time, we’ve had surgery, more surgery, chemo, radiation, and the worst possible loss we could have never imagined coming our way. We lost a man we loved with everything we had. We lost the love of my life. We lost the father of my children.
That loss has been followed by the drama that apparently follows a great loss, at least from what fellow widows and widowers have told me. Relationships have changed, some in ways we never could have predicted, some for the best, others for the worst. Some have changed by our choice, because it was the healthiest thing we could do. More change may still need to happen. It’s a weird time and grief is a strange thing.
But, we’re done with the drama. We have had enough.
If you can’t be kind, your comments won’t be published here. That’s why my comments are moderated. It is not because I fear the “truth” being told or don’t want bad things said about me. For Christ’s sake, bad shit gets said about me on a near-daily basis by my “anonymous” stalker on twitter, he/she attempts to post comments to other blogs, and send his/her hate in emails to other people. I truly have no control over what is said about me. Haters are gonna hate. That is not the point.
What I do have control over is this space, my sanctuary and haven for expressing my thoughts. So, rude comments get deleted. Honestly, I read the first few words, and then the comment gets sent to the spam folder, and the rude commenter’s IP address gets blocked. So, don’t waste the keystrokes if you can’t play nice. I don’t need you to agree with what I write or who I am, because I’m okay with both of those things. I write this blog to share my experiences. It’s your choice to read it or not. Might I suggest NOT if you don’t enjoy it or me? Just a thought. Lots of blogs exist on the Interwebs. I’m sure you can find one to your liking.
In our real life, the one we live off the Internet, my children and I will continue to avoid the drama llama as best we can. I’ll do my best as a mother to protect my kids from adults who tell them that doing drugs is an acceptable solution when they care for them. We’ll continue to figure out how to be a family of three, living together, even when people attempt to split us apart by offering a Utopia that doesn’t exist anywhere but fairy tales to a child who just wants her father back, but needs to learn how to live here, in this world, with this family that’s trying its best to put itself back together. We will rise from this life we’ve been living with our amp on 11, and get back to a time when we didn’t ride a roller coaster every day, and we had peace instead of drama.