There were two ways I could have started today.
Here’s the first:
Wake up. Start with the laundry list of the shitty things about my year, my life, my world. Look outside. See the hole in the fence, the work that needs to be done. Think about the things missing in my life, the losses I’ve had, the holes they’ve left.
Spend the day in the fetal position, focused on things I cannot change, paralyzed by what will not be, and unable to move.
Today is my birthday. BIRTH DAY. A day for beginnings.
I chose a different day. I made a different day for myself.
I actually started making that day yesterday. I set the tone with my friends. I let them know what I wanted. And, God bless them, they obliged.
The messages and pictures and awesomeness started rolling in before I even went to bed. By the time I woke up this morning, I was greeted with so much love, I couldn’t help but have a great start to my day. The only weepiness I felt was from the outpouring of love coming my way.
On my way to visit my lawyer, I cranked up the music until the windows were vibrating. I had lunch with a good friend. I cranked up The Cure for the drive home, and have plans to be picked up by friends for mother/daughter mani/pedis this afternoon. Tonight, another blogging friend is coming over to hang out. Tomorrow, more friend time. Plus, OMG, THE WORLD CUP IS ON!!!
When I look outside, I don’t see a broken-down fence. I see a canvas.
It’s all about perspective.
What kind of day are you choosing?