Dear Service Industry:

I appreciate that you have a script that prompts your employees to begin and end their conversations with bereaved callers with, “I am sorry for your loss.” HOWEVER, and I must stress the “HOWEVER” oh, how I must stress it, HOWEVER, it would behoove you to train them to skip, altogether, the pre-programmed autopilot ever-chipper, “Have a great day!” you’ve ingrained into their pea-brained little heads. Because, really? Really? Are you shitting me?

I just got done being transferred to your special department for estates so I could close my deceased husband’s account and after your employee claimed to be sorry for my loss, in the very next breath, she actually said, I shit you not, “Have a great afternoon!” Um, okay. I’ll get right on that.

And your local life insurance agent who’s available to help with my claim was so kind to call and leave a message with her cell phone number and office number and offer her condolences along with her hope that I’m having a great day. A great day? My husband just died. I can assure you that I am having many things, but a great day is not one of them.

Holy fuck, people. It’s not a difficult concept. Say, “I am sorry for your loss.” STOP THERE. That’s it. That’s all. All done. That’s plenty. If you’re closing the call, say, “Once again, I am sorry for your loss, Mrs./Mr. X.” All. Done. Stop talking. I’ll have a nice day some other time.

Sincerely,

Not Having A Nice Day