You're Not The Boss Of Me: The Role Of Caregiver

I won't sleep tonight. We should be on our way to the emergency room, but he won't go. He wants to wait until tomorrow morning.

Pericardial tamponade.

I didn't even know what that meant until a doctor's visit with identical symptoms a little over week ago landed us in the ER and an extended stay in the ICU.

But, he's an adult and I need to honor his wishes. Even if it means lying here in bed listening to him short of breath, knowing his heart rate is elevated because his heart can't expand fully, and feeling the bed shake as his lungs struggle to fill with air. I have to because this is his choice. It is his life and I honor his decisions even when they conflict with my own. That's why they invented Valium. No?

What I do know, is that if there was any way on this Earth that I could switch places with him, I would do it in an instant.