How To Rock Monday

If you want a fast pass to get a bed in the ER, show up in a wheelchair with a heart rate of 150. Total VIP service.

It also gets you a chest x-ray, echo, CT, and bed in the ICU. Your IV pole will be loaded with 3 kinds of antibiotics, 5 liters of fluids, and for the grand finale, you'll get a chest drain with an external "tote board."

But, you're still in better shape than the rest of the folks in ICU, so you get moved a step down to TCU. Here, you get more fluids, more antibiotics, and a couple pints of magical unicorn blood.

The preliminary verdict is tumor lysis. Tumor lysis would actually be a good thing. It would mean the tumors are dying and giving off a bunch of toxic crap that's making Bob sick. Being sick sucks. Dying tumors are awesome. Hoping and praying that's what it is because we're about full-up with the shitty Mondays.



How To Rock Monday