This holiday season has been all about flexibility.
First, we had to forgo the visit to Bob's parents because I was still sick and Bob's dad's immune system is compromised right now. We have plans to visit them upon our return from Denver.
Then, we had to rework our plans for Denver. The friend we're going to visit and stay with is sick, Bug doesn't want to go (being an Aspie dude means traveling and a change of environment isn't always his thing, and I appreciate that), so we've made another change in plans. Instead, Bug will hang with his grandparents whom he's been missing and have been missing him, and Peanut and I will head out to Denver for a long weekend instead of an 8-day family vacation.
It's been about other changes, too. We made it through our first Christmas without Bob by doing things a little and a lot differently. We skipped things that didn't feel right; we didn't have a traditional Christmas dinner, choosing to eat a favorite meal of In-n-Out burger, instead. We had a cocktail and soda at a local Chinese restaurant. We drove around looking at lights, listening to rap music, taking pictures, and posting them on the Internet with funny captions. We ate cookies in bed. We visited Bob's sister who's home from the hospital, thank GOD! We bought new stockings instead of climbing into the attic to face our vast collection of Christmas decorations from years past. We missed him. We talked about him. We celebrated the simple moments. I think he would be proud of his kids, of me, of his family, of how we're learning to live and love. It's what he wanted for us.
We did what felt right. It wasn't always easy or peaceful. There were difficult, sad, bumpy moments, but we made it. We sprinkled lots of laughter over the top. It's the only way we know how to do it.