The Freshman and His Two Moms

I have a secret life. You see, in addition to Bug and Peanut, I also have a 6'2" redheaded high schooler who thinks he's from da hood and his older brother who's off at college. I didn't mention this before? Really. Oh, I didn't birth them, I'm just the Other Mother. Not a very good one, mind you. I'm more apt to swear with them than at them. At the end of the day, I get to give them back. It's like being a grandma, but without the need for a Poise pad.

It also means that when "my" oldest graduated from high school, he wrote us this lovely thank you note:

You don't get a thank you like that if you actually birth the child. Hell no. You only get that kind of thank you if you write 'em a big-ass check and don't ask what he's going to spend it on.

Now, Mr. William's senior year is gone, and he's back to the lowly position of freshman, albeit the collegiate variety. His days are occupied with trying to figure out the complicated stuff like:

  • Where'd I leave my cell phone?
  • Do I really need to go to that class?
  • How do I register to vote?
  • Has anyone seen my cell phone?
  • Can I fit everything I own into one load of laundry?
  • Does that debit card thing work here?
  • Where's my wallet?
  • Do I really need a cell phone?
  • How many of my friends can you fit in the minivan at Parents' Weekend so you can take us out to eat?

This coming weekend, his birth mother and I will be posing as his Two Moms for Parents' Weekend. He's already asking how much time he has to spend with us. All I can say is that he better have figured out how to register to vote today or we won't be taking anyone out to eat. That's for damn sure.

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