Califmom

Look Who's Watching: Autism Stalks

2012-02-23T16:56:49Z

When you talk about a big corporation, never think they aren't paying attention, especially when you do it in a public forum. Brand is everything. Protecting image is king. My one small blog post has already gotten the attention of Autism Speaks. At last count, they'd spent over 15 hours staring at that post. The clock is still ticking. It's nice to see Autism Speaks using their resources to worry about me. I'm obviously a huge threat to Autistics.

Serenity Now

2012-02-23T02:39:59Z

First!

Reach for it!

Oh, the gall!

SIMONS

Autism Speaks Doesn't Speak For Our Family

2012-02-22T17:29:25Z

I don't think I've ever addressed this here. I need to. It's important. It's about neurodiversity.

My son's brain doesn't work exactly like mine, and that is okay. In fact, we like it that way. We don't want to change him. We appreciate his differences.

Is it always easy?

No.

Does the world need more people like him?

I think so. He's a pretty interesting dude. He brings a lot to the table.

Does he need a cure from a disease?

No.

Does he need to be fixed?

No.

Should we prevent children being born like him?

No.

Is there an epidemic?

Depends on how you look at the statistics. Which version of the DSM are you using? He would have been called something different in each one.

I do not donate money to Autism Speaks.

They do not speak for my son.

Fortunately for my son, he has a voice that he is able to use to speak for himself. However, just because a child isn't able to use his voice doesn't mean he has nothing to say.

Think about that.

Brains are complex, interesting, unique things. They aren't puzzle ribbons.

Here are some valid, concrete concerns about Autism Speaks as an organization:

Autism Speaks' advocacy is based on the view that autism is a disease, a viewpoint not necessarily shared by autism scientists and certainly one not shared by many autistics.

Autism Speaks perpetuated the myth that vaccines cause autism, contributing to reduced vaccination rates and the deaths of young children from vaccine-preventable diseases.

Autism Speaks uses fear-tactics to raise money. Case in point, their video I Am Autism, which personifies Autism as a child-stealing criminal.

Autism Speaks has an agenda of eugenics; they want to screen prenatally for autism and, according to their co-founder Susan Wright, "ultimately eradicate Autism for the sake of future generations."

At last report, Autism Speaks had no representation from the autistic community on their Board of Directors. None. How do you speak for a people without the people? Is the NAACP made up of white people? I think not. Is NOW run by men? It is unheard of for an organization representing the disabled and disinfranchised to not include those effected in their decision-making members.

If, somehow, none of this bothers you, at the very least, you should have some concern that according to their 2010 annual report, Autism Speaks spends OVER HALF of their proceeds from their collected contributions to pay management salaries.

What's the alternative?

There are a number of organizations that include the autistic community in their governing bodies and work to advocate for their rights as neurodiverse people, services for children AND adults who needs them, and research that is meaningful in finding out HOW brains work to determine best-practices for assisting people who need it and want it, not in the view of autism as a disease or dysfunction, but as a difference.

Here are some of those organization who are supportive of autistics:

ASAN Autistic Self-Advocacy Network

AASPIRE Academic Autistic Spectrum Partnership in Research and Education

TAAP The Autism Acceptance Project

Days For Presidents

2012-02-21T17:19:17Z

Phoning it in with photos:

Rewind, Repeat, Redo

2012-02-15T22:35:07Z

The last time I made the drive, I could barely breathe. I wasn't sure what to expect. I didn't know how it all worked. I was in a fog.

I couldn't find my son's birth certificate. I needed it to file for social security death benefits. My husband had just died.

He was born in a neighboring county. I needed it that day. I drove. I parked. I made my way through parking, I don't remember where, and through the glass doors, and the kiosk, and the window, and got the copy, and then I drove more, to the next county, where I sat, sobbing, uncontrollably, in the parking lot, before repeating a similar process, so much more surreal, to file for the benefits.

Now, over a year has passed. We have moved, and in the massive upheaval of it all, I cannot, for the life of me, find that damn birth certificate that I took such pains to get. And I need it. Again. For a totally different reason.

It's a good reason, but also a stressful one, and I cannot find the fucking thing. ANYWHERE.

So, I drove. Like a banshee, to beat the traffic. This time, it's two counties away. But, I knew what awaited me on the other end, so I was calm. Or calmer. Except for the memories of Why. Why I was here the last time. Why it was familiar. Why I needed it before.

I have it now. I will put it back in the Safe Place. The same Safe Place I always put it. Until I can't find it, and I have to get another one, cheeses help me.

Valentine's—Bits And Pieces

2012-02-15T05:29:58Z

Treasures In Our Midst

2012-02-08T23:00:40Z

Have you ever been to Treasure Island? We had some business out there yesterday, so we took a little detour around the island and I snapped a few photos I thought you might enjoy. Interesting place. Interesting history. Read about it some time.

Doggie Diner

Genetic Reclamation Area

No one was watching as she danced.

She loved all of him—the tattered and torn bits most of all.

Try, try, again.

Going To Bed Salsa

2012-02-07T07:40:16Z

We crawl into bed. I ask for room for my legs. Not for right now. Right now they'll be wrapped up with yours. But later I'll need to stretch, and they'll need room. And I ask for our Starting Point to be closer to Your Side.

You ask for Hugs And Snuggle Time to be now, for just a bit, before I sneak off for a bubble bath like I sometimes do when I can't sleep. Just for a bit, you say.

We do this Going To Bed Salsa.

We negotiate.

This is how we do.

We find our Starting Point. A little closer to Your Side than before.

I skip the bubble bath because Hugs And Snuggle Time relaxes me as I start to hear the rain rhythmically dropping on the skylight, joining the dance.

As you drift off to sleep, our legs slip apart, and I stretch into the space left behind.

Baths And Laughs

2012-02-05T06:10:37Z

We spent the day in the City—laughing at SF Sketchfest's showing of Best in Show and Q & A with Fred Willard and Michael Hitchcock then exploring the Sutro Baths ruins. Oh, and we grabbed a quick lunch at the Sausage Factory in the Castro, which was surprisingly good. Straightforward Italian with old-school decor. We had a torpedo sandwich (salami, pepperoni, and american cheese) with a side of spaghetti that was spot-on for our craving for comfort food and fast service. The bread on the sandwich was fresh and tasted homemade, there was just enough mustard, and the sandwich toppings were served on the side so they stayed crisp and cold to be added to our toasted, warm fare. Delish. It set the tone for a great afternoon and evening in the City. The show was perfect. We're both huge fans of Best in Show. Going to see the Sutro Baths ruins iced the cake on the day. Neither of us had been, and if you haven't read about the history, you really must. You'll be blown away.

The Castro Theater

Best In Show

Descending On History

Sutro Baths Ruins

The Moon Sees Me

Better Together

Land's End—Day's End

Humpday Nails

2012-02-02T02:57:50Z

I used to pay to get my nails done. Then, I'm not sure if I got lazy or creative, but suddenly I began taking an interest in doing them myself. First, pedicures, then my fingernails.

Initially, it looked like I'd had a triple latte before doing it. Then, I got a little better. Then, I decided to get really crazy and start painting fun designs on my nails and my daughter's. Then her friends' started asking for fun stuff. So, the trend began.

I'm not great, but it's fun. We keep experimenting and coming up with new things to try. I got some special brushes for Christmas that make it a whole lot easier, and YouTube is full of great tutorials and ideas. It also helps that Sephora is a mile from my house. So handy. (See what I did there?)

Keep in mind, I'm an amateur with a certified hand-tremor. It isn't perfect, but it's fun. Plus, I swear it lasts longer than what I'd get done at the salon. Also, MUPPETS! And CUPCAKES!

I even made a Pinterest board to fill with ideas, cuz, you know IDEAS.