When I look through my pictures, I define them all in my head as before and after photos.
Before Bob died.
I wonder, like one wonders if she looks different after losing her virginity, if I look different to other people after Bob's death. Can they tell I'm a widow? Does it show in my face?
The pictures of the kids, of the house, our pets, everything in our lives—they are all defined as before and after.
There is not a single photo that I see that I do not know where it falls on that continuum. I might not know the year, month, or place, but I do know where that one defining event lands in relationship to that picture. Always.