Every Penny

We’re told not to talk about the money. It’s bad form. Poor manners. But, it’s killing me.

I don’t want it. I want my husband.

I want a father to walk my daughter down the aisle when she gets married.

I want the man who told me he loved me every day.

I want my son to have his dad.

I want him back.

I don’t want the money.

I don’t want any of it.

I’d give it all away, every last penny, to have him back.

Comments

[Jeff]

I hope you can find solace in knowing he is with you spirit, stride for stride with every step you take!

[Tina Cruz]

I know, hon. But this is what he wanted...you all to be taken care of. Think of it as a love letter, from him. (is that lame?)

t.

[Tree]

Leah, do you know when Bob and I were talking on the phone after his recurrence, he said to me, "Tree, if I could even just have 7 more years I would be okay with that." and I exclaimed, "DUDE! what are you talking about!?!?! you should want more than that! You need to walk Aunnie down the aisle and see your grand babies!" I feel so bad and wish I could have taken it back. Leah, I never expected him to die; I expected him to get better and our lives would be back to "normal". There was the BMT- and he had 2 matches:( I WANT HIM, MY BABY BROTHER, BACK TOO!

[Superjules]

<3 <3

[Lara]

I know what you mean - I used to get very upset when people complained that I was "so lucky" to not have any debt after college because I didn't have to take out any loans. Yes, that was a blessing, but the only reason I didn't have to take out loans is because my father died when I was sixteen and planned well for my sake. I would have rather had the debt if it meant having my father.

I'm sorry you have to be grieving, but for what it's worth, I think you're doing it well.

[loraine silva]

I want him back too!! he had the gift of bringing laughter and joy when he came into a room. He was my hippster, my first child i took care of him soo much. the money leah is for your and the children's future! he would have provided for you all,he is taking care of you still... it is alot harder without having money, the hurt of the loss is still there and the concern over the bills makes it so i can not breathe sometimes.. we are here for you!!

[Amanda]

Sob. Me too.Sometimes I think this is somehow "my fault" because I once daydreamed about having more money (stupid, I know). I'd pay back every red cent in a heartbeat if I could have him back.Hugs.