Telling The Kids About Their Dad’s Cancer

Bob’s first night in the hospital, I got home around 12:30 am. Both kids were still awake, anxious, wanting to talk to me, wanting the information that we’ve always given them – wanting the truth.

So, at 12:30 am, I explained to my 11-year-old daughter and 13-year-old son that:

Yes, Daddy’s cancer is still attacking his body.

No, the radiation did not help.

Yes, we have fewer options for fighting the cancer.

Yes, Daddy is still going to fight the cancer.

Yes, you may overhear other family members say Daddy doesn’t have much time left to live because one doctor believes that, however, not every doctor agrees with him. And we don’t agree with him.

Our daughter cried for a while, hugged me a lot, and spent a while in our bed that night before she popped up and said she was okay and would be heading back to her own bed where she sleeps better.

Our son meditated on it. He came into my room to tell me he had to visions of Daddy in his meditations. In one vision, he saw Daddy with “very feeble, but with no cancer in his body. In another, it was two years in the future, but Daddy was dead. I’m going with the first version, Mom.” I love that kid.

It was around 2 am by the time I got the kids settled and myself to bed that night, but I have limited priorities in my life right now – my husband and my children. They had been texting me at the hospital in the hours before I arrived home, so I knew it would be a late night. When your father is lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life, bedtime is a moot point.

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Comments

[Cary]

God I love you guys so much.

[Bejewell]

I'm going with the first vision, too.

[Janet Isserlis]

first as well. all my love,

[Amanda Shankle-Knowlton]

Thinking of you as much as I can think of you without being a creepy stalker.

[Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Momm]

Sending more prayers for all of you.

[dawn]

xoxoxoxo



FUCK CANCER

[Angi33]

thinking of you...and praying on the first vision. Love to you all.

[twitter.com/penbleth]

I love you Leah.

I'm glad you've got the Dr. sorted. Prayers that for the first vision to come true.

Love and prayers to all of you.

Lynn xoxo

[O'Neal]

Sometimes are kids are stronger & wiser than we realize and once in a while, even us! Your family is lucky to have such a kick ass mama like you, love you bunches and STILL praying hard! XOXO

[Tina Cruz]

I am going with what the D man said. Definitely. I expect to do shots of tequila at Dick's with Bob again. This time I will actually drink something stronger than coffee!

[Catootes]

There's are few thing harder than this conversation.I think we'll all focus on vision 1 to help make it a stronger universal path.

Good for you guys for firing sucky doctor's. I've done it myself and it can make a world of difference.

Still sending FUCK CANCER vibes your way.

[Charmaine]

I'm with the #1 vision all the way. Love you and think of you all constantly. Maybe I am the weird creepy stalker type.

[Megan Hook]

I'm going with the first vision. Because that's all I'll accept.

FUCK CANCER.

And keep fighting, Bob, Leah and family. xoxo

[Eric Thomas]

I had a vision of you guys bending cancer over the sink.

[califmom]

I pick your vision. 

[Al_Pal]

Vision #1, absolutely!Concentrating on the "no cancer in his body" part...the 'feeble' will be but fleeting ephemera in a lifetime...

#fuckcancer!

*HUGS*

[Emma L. Devlin]

My father died of cancer when I was 12. Kids are wonderfully resilient. I hope your kids don't face this but know, if they do, we bounce back. Mom worked (and had to) full time. I was a part time care giver, rushing home from 8th grade, to see if Pop needed anything. My mother let me in on some of the process. It made it easier for me to comprehend what was going on & eventually accept the result. If I were in your place, I'd be careful shielding your children too much. (Not saying you are - still reading.) It also made it easier to be primary care giver to my mother ten years later. (That will NOT be you. My parents were your age when I was born.)Godspeed to Bob, you and your children. Use my links below if you need a kind word or listener as you travel this road.{{{hugs}}} @BostonEmma