I’ve Lost My Ever Lovin’ Mind

I’m blaming the chemo farts*. Their toxicity has obviously begun to cloud my judgment. It has come to my attention that I have agreed to host a slumber party for Peanut’s 11th birthday.

In our home.

Because I smoke crack.

For (potentially) 9 tween-aged girls.

In our home.

Because I smoke crack.

Without my husband. (He was smart enough to make plans to take his chemo-farting butt out of here, along with Bug’s 12yo farting butt.)

In our home.

Because I smoke the crack.

For 24 hours.

In our home.

Because. I. Smoke. The. Crack.

If my sister-in-law so much as ponders abandoning me, I will hunt her down with a car load of sugared-up, wild-eyed tweens and a roll of duct tape.

I will not be sinking on this boat alone.

She will be smoking the crack with my butt here to help me come hell or high water..

The pizza place is on speed dial. Cupcakes are ordered. Mini-Martha Peanut has the activities planned. Fun will be had or that Mason jar of chemo farts will be let loose on any party poopers.

*Okay, how funlarious is it that Wikipedia has an entry for farts? Huh? And how much more fun is it that I linked to it? Even more fun is the fact that I can guarantee someone is going to click on that link and read all about farts. Makes my damn day. I love you people.

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Comments

[Potjie]

DAMMIT. You're right, I just spent 4.5 minutes reading the fart page.

[Al_Pal]

*grin*It seems probable that tweens are... different nowadays, but I loved slumber parties as a kid/tween/teen.

May your ever-lovin' mind come back to you! ;P

[califmom]

Oh, they'll love it. I'll just need a week-long vacation when it's over.

[califmom]

Told you so.

[Meg E]

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.

*HEE*

I think you can handle it, especially if you've got Mini-Martha on the job.

And the wreckiest cupcake-cake you can find so that we'll have something to laugh about tomorrow.

[THERESA]

I AM SOOOOOOOOOO THERE !!!! my true age is a tween, you know... AND FARTS RULE!!!!

[Summer]

I'm going to bet that you're smoking crack. Oh, I mean that you're going to have a fun and sweet time. Yeah. that one.

[califmom]

Also crack smoking.

[Tina@SendChocolate]

I will be drinking martinis and thinking about you. You stupid, er, brave woman, you.

Oh and I have an award for your ass, too. Come get it

[thatgirlblogs]

don't really know how I found you... someone else's blogroll, maybe?

anyway, I read your about page and I think we were separated at birth maybe. I'm the less cool one. obviously.