To Whom It May Concern

Dear Kaiser,

  I am writing on the eve of my 39-year old husband’s first chemo treatment. There is an aggressive cancer trying like hell to take him from me, and I am scared. I understand you aren’t God, but I also know that I have loved just this one man since April 8th of 1989 and that you have an incredible staff who have been down this road that is so foreign to us.

We met young, and grew together instead of apart. We know that’s rare.

I cannot imagine our family with a piece missing. Not a parent, not a child, no piece. The thing about becoming a family is that we are never fully separate again, never fully disconnected. There’s that thread that forever weaves us together.

At nearly forty years old, I found myself calling out for my own parents to come to my side. As I type, they are making the four-hour drive, having dropped everything. I didn’t even have to say please.

This morning, my in-laws arrived to pick up our children and take them to their home for the next few days. As my mother-in-law left, she hugged me, the wife of her youngest child, and she said, “Be strong.”

This thread, it’s woven through generations of strong, loving people who want to see my husband make it through this battle alive and healthy again.

He is the tie that binds us. He binds his six siblings, his parents, nieces, nephews, and their children. He has a way of bringing us all together. He makes us laugh. He makes us whole.

So, when you put that needle in his arm tomorrow, please know how very much he is loved, and how very much we need him.

~califmom

Comments

[Jill]

My heart aches for you and your family. Lots of positive thoughts for you, your husband, and the people he weaves through tomorrow.

[Dianne]

My god, that blog post made me cry. If only we could all be that lucky to have that type of love - pure, kind, and without malice. Even though I am not religious, please know that you are in my prayers constantly.

[Alexander Patton]

Wow. That is a truly touching note there. Still praying for you daily.

[* TONYA *]

Oh honey, when I saw this come up on my Facebook feed I wanted to cry for you. I'm praying that everything goes well tomorrow and every day after.

[Gingerken]

Sending many good thoughts your way for all of your family, that the healing will come and will be complete.

[T@SendChocolate]

I am crying now, and still praying like hell. I have had Sarah McLachlan's song in my head this past week. Maybe I am supposed to tell you about it. or not. Hold On. Read the lyrics. And..hold on. To each other. To your friends. To your faith.

much love,T.

[michele]

Crying at your beautiful words, thinking of you. I'll be sending good thoughts all day.

[Heather]

Crying (and I am NOT a crier.) Continuing prayers for you and yours.

[Cathy]

Oh, Leah - what a beautiful post. I pray for you and Bob daily. One of the many, many things you have going for you is that you are a kick-ass, don't fuck with me kind of girl, and that fight and courage will help both you, Bob and the kids see this through. Plus you have friends all over the world pulling for you, thinking positive thoughts, praying, crossing body parts ... and the power of all of those positive vibes will hopefully help to give you strength. Sending you and Bob HUGE hugs today.

[GeekMommy]

That's a beautiful tribute to what it means to be a family - and yours is strong... so keeping you and Bob and all of your family in thoughts and prayers.

((hug))

[Bunnie]

That was beautiful and now I am bawling my eyes out.

[Zip n Tizzy]

Holding you in my heart.Big Hugs.

[emmajames]

Damn it, I'm a blubbering mess! Anyone who is lucky enough to have found what you have in your relationship with your husband should NOT have it taken away by some stupid disease. It just isn't fucking fair. So I'm sending you a bushel full of good juju and hope that Kaiser, God, the Michelin Marshmellow Man and anything/everything else gets the message to stop shitting on a good thing.

[Jack]

That's beautiful. Reminds me a little of a story by Ted Sturgeon, "Slow Sculpture." Growing together is rare. You're blessed. I hope you're all together a long, long time.

[Catootes]

Best of the best wishes for you and your family.I admire your strength and your honesty with your children.

[lindaloohoo]

i just found you and started reading from the most current post, where your hubs is doing better and looking better and feeling better and you are feeling positive enough to start bitching about your house again. good things.

so, reading back in time, when i got to this one, i just broke down. beautiful words, beautifully felt and beautifully written.

having that same kind of history and feeling with my hubunit, i completely understand and am glad that things seem to be working out the way they should. keep doing. and we will all keep thinking great thoughts for your family.

[califmom]

Thank you so much.