Sometimes You Are Handed A Golden Goose

I was chatting with my friend, K, tonight. We've often pondered the publication of our chats in a public forum because, well, we thinking we're hilarious, and we are. Here's a sample from tonight's chat:

me: hey, freak

K: hey

i'm sweating to death, how bout you?

me: i've had a fucking cold for 2 weeks.

just drank some pond water my hairdresser/herbalist gave me.

K: far out, mine only lasted a week and a half-but my left nostril had a hole in it for at least 2

why in the hell would you do such a thing?

me: i figured it would kill me or kill the cold. i'm desperate. i can't buy anymore nyquil without a note.

K: interesting theory

me: i don't think you're supposed to drink a bottle a day. i was just going off my vodka consumption.

turns out nyquil has other shit in it besides the booze.

K: yes, but were you still drinking the vodka?

me: yeah, how else would i get my vitamin c?

Then we segued into some other realms, like golf, weight loss, and hoarding. K has a grandpa who's a hoarder. It appears he mostly hoards the shit he already has, as opposed to buying new shit. K took the liberty of emailing me some proof, which I now offer to you as Exhibit A in the case for Why You Should Throw Some Shit Out:

These are Grandpa's slippers (I am using the noun "slippers" here in the loosest possible form as there's merely a slip left of these bad boys.)

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Comments

[Robguy]

I used to know a guy that was in the armed forces in the US. He told me about how they couldn't drink (wether this applied to the whole base or just his group due to discipline, I'm not sure) so instead he'd down 3 bottles of nyquil to get a good one going. I don't think he'd notice if he had a cold.

[Robguy]

I used to know a guy that was in the armed forces in the US. He told me about how they couldn't drink (wether this applied to the whole base or just his group due to discipline, I'm not sure) so instead he'd down 3 bottles of nyquil to get a good one going. I don't think he'd notice if he had a cold.

[K]

God, am I famous now?

[Summer]

Should have just upped your vodka intake, that would knock out any germs that dared to mess with you. Hehe