Subscribe to Califmom via Email

Five Star Friday

Nuts & Bolts

I wasn't a fan of morning until I had teenagers, now it's my favorite part of the day that I have to myself. I prefer vanilla to chocolate, red wine to white, and invoke my right to take to my bed, as needed. I love bed.

I have children and pets. I became a widow at the ripe old age of forty thanks to a fucked up disease called non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Bob was an amazing man and the love of my life for twenty-one years. I will always miss him. My kids will always miss him. That's just how it works. Grief doesn't occur in stages; it's circular, has waves, is unpredictable, and the hole left by a loss heals, but it's still a hole.

Because of my son, I know more than I want to about Asperger and Tourette Syndromes. I don't think autism needs to be cured. I do think that autistic spectrum disorders are more likely orders—another way of being in this world. If you meet him, you probably won't notice either "syndrome" right away, and maybe not at all.

I am an information junkie. I see the big picture and the minutiae. I love nothing more than hunting for The Thing That Cannot Be Found.

My children attended a private Montessori school for over seven years, then homeschooled (unschooled) for the next four. Now, Peanut is a pre-med student and Bug is working. Much to their dismay, they still live together, but not with Mom anymore.

The road to get to this point was ugly, but the outcome is blessed. I'm thankful I studied child development during my undergrad years and worked toward my teaching credential in grad school, but nothing is a greater teacher than the child in front of you at the moment. 

I DO NOT do gyms or jogging, although I'll downward dog on the daily.

I think too hard to find laundry enjoyable, but I do it anyway. Dammit if having a steam cleaning washing machine doesn't make it slightly less painful. 

I enjoying cooking, but don't follow recipes. My favorite thing to cook is something fabulous with what's already on hand.

I read half of many books, and all of others. Although, my bookshelves are filled with treasures I've read and even more that my children have devoured. Entire worlds exist in between the covers of a book (or the swipe of an iBook).

Since Bob's passing, I was blessed to find love again. I never dreamed I'd be so fortunate, but life is meant to be lived, and I found a man who felt the same way. For a period of time, we were Better Together, and it was an extraordinary experience that I do not regret.

As the next chapter of my life unfolds, I face it as I face every chapter—I land on my feet, face it head-on, and embrace it with some Fuck Yeahs, friends, and family.